Please
by Aisling-Siobhan
Summary: REPOST. Song fic. Harry is a pawn; Harry knows he's a pawn, but what can he do to get free? Harry: Kill me? Lucius: Beg; say please. HP/DM


THIS IS A RE-POST, BECAUSE FFNET TOOK THIS STORY DOWN, BECAUSE THE SUMMARY WAS NOT RATED G. IT'S AN M RATED STORY… WTF?

" Please"

**Disclaimer: ** Ok, so I own everything and well, more things… but… no, no 'but's… MINE! It is! They are! Why don't you believe me? Oh you read the part that say's, "all characters are property of J.K. Rowling, no copyright infringement intended"? Well, that might explain why you don't believe me… Song is by **Staind**!

**Summery: ** REPOST. Song fic. Harry is a pawn; Harry knows he's a pawn, but what can he do to get free? Harry: Kill me? Lucius: Beg; say please. H/D

**Rating: **R probably, Character death, Foul language.

**A/N: ** Spoilers for HP I, II, III, IV, V, VI.

_XXX_

**Words:** 3,777

**Chapter 1**

All my life, everyday of my life, some one has controlled me. The first year of my life my parents controlled me, but I can't hold it against them I was, after all, a baby, incapable of caring for myself.

When the Dark Lord Voldemort killed my parents, I was only 15-months-old, and I was sent to my aunt and uncles. Dumbledore's orders, he's the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; I'll be going into my seventh year there. If it was up to my relatives I wouldn't even know the place existed, let alone that I'm a famous, powerful wizard. Up until I turned eleven my mother's sister and her family controlled my life.

I was a 'house-elf'; I met the Malfoy's house-elf when I was twelve, in my second year. The Malfoy's are a prominent pureblood, frivolously rich family, and supporters of the Dark Lord. And their only son is my school-rival, Draco. There are two differences between myself, Harry James Potter and Dobby the ex-Malfoy House Elf. One, I'm human, and he's a house elf, and two, I never punished myself if I got something wrong.

And by ex- I mean that I freed Dobby after the Chamber of Secrets mess at the end of Second year, Lord Malfoy still hasn't forgotten the matter entirely. Then again, I did humiliate him in front of the Headmaster and lose him a servant. Oh well…

Speaking of my school years, since I turned eleven and received my Hogwarts letter, no matter how hard it was to come by, I have been Albus Dumbledore's pawn, in a giant game of chess. Well, fuck that!

xxx

I was eleven fucking years old! I wasn't a child; I was and still am a weapon to him. In First year, I met Voldemort for the second time, and won. Pure luck, as Professor Severus Snape reminded me time and time again. I saved the Philosophers Stone, only to return to the muggle's, (non-magical people), house. Unwanted, and unloved, for another desolate month. By that time I had been rescued by the Weasley twins and their youngest brother, my best friend Ron.

I went back to school, and saved the youngest Weasley, Ginny, their sister who was 'in love' with me, from the Basilisk and a teenage Lord Voldemort, Tom Marvolo Riddle. Another near death experience, and another summer of pain. I ran away that summer, and Sirius Black escaped from the Wizard prison Azkaban.

Turns out he's not a murder, or a Death Eater, but actually my Godfather who was framed. That year, Voldemort left me alone, but I still had to deal with Snape. I finally learned why he hated me, my father and he were school-rivals, but my father was crueller to him than I ever was to Malfoy, so far.

Sirius escaped anyway, and I was taken yet again by the Weasley's from the muggles and brought to the Quidditch World Cup. We were sat in the top box, exclusive, expensive, Ron's father Arthur had gotten tickets from a friend. The Malfoy's were there, of course. The best becomes the rich, does it not? Death Eaters attacked some of the muggles there; they're Voldemort's marked followers. They were scared away by a floating Dark Mark, Voldemort's mark. That year I was put through the Tri-Wizard Tournament, as a fourth member representing three schools. Someone was up to something, and who got the blame? Me!

xxx

Again, I was almost killed, and one of the others champions were, Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff. Voldemort finally got his body back, thanks to my blood. That summer the Ministry of Magic sent Dementors after me for saying Voldemort was back. They killed the only other witness, and everyone hated me for being an 'attention seeking liar', I hate attention and I don't lie!

I was almost expelled, and when the Minister's second was announced as the Defence Professor, I wished I had been. My hand is permanently scarred now. "I Must Not Tell Lies", hmm… well, she got hers I must say. That year Sirius died, and I realized no matter how much like my father I look, I don't want to act like him. How he treated Snape was deplorable, disgusting, disgraceful, wrong! So I ran out of 'd' words… but it was wrong, they weren't pranks it was bullying. I didn't even get a chance to apologize to Snape before he threw me out of his rooms.

That next year, my Sixth, everything went to hell. The summer was the worst ever, Dumbledore told the muggles my escapee-murderer-godfather was dead, and they beat me almost to death for keeping it from them, they starved me too. Draco Malfoy tried to kill Dumbledore, and if I knew then what I knew now I would have offered my help.

Snape got him in the end, as much as it pained me to say it, **YAY GO SNAPE**! But at the time, I was none too happy. Before, I hurt Malfoy badly, he attacked me and I attacked back, out of a book by an unknown person, who shouldn't be trusted. I almost killed him, so very close but Snape saved him. They ran after they killed Dumbledore, I know Voldemort killed Malfoy for failing, while Snape was praised for saving the day.

But I've wasted enough time, onto the story… That was then, this is now. This summer no one came for me; I was yet again almost killed. The Aurors watching me slacked off again, and Death Eaters attacked me, while I was mowing the lawn! Wand less and half dressed I managed to escape Bellatrix Lestrange, Sirius' murderer. I didn't care how much trouble I'd get in, I packed and summoned the Knight Bus, I was going to The Burrow, but I wasn't sure if I'd be welcomed. I must have upset Ron if he wasn't writing to me. I was going to go to Grimmauld Place but I was sure Remus was still upset with me cause I got Sirius killed, couldn't have been more wrong.

xxx

I went to Hogwarts instead. It took **ages**; let me tell you to travel by Bus. When I arrived, it was practically empty; the teachers had left for the summer preferring not to be around without the Headmaster. And Snape having run for his life wasn't there either. I wandered around for a bit, left my stuff in the room of requirements and wandered around some more. I heard a hissing and followed it, wondering if someone had replaced the dead Basilisk.

Before I knew it I was outside Severus Snape's rooms in the dungeon, and the place wasn't as deserted as I thought. I looked down, in time to stop myself stepping on the long, thin, black cobra at my feet. It looked like the one from the Duelling Club that Snape had vanquished.

:: "**Young ssspeaker, I have been waiting, Sssalazar said you'd come,**" :: I watched him in shock, not quite comprehending what he was saying as the portrait to the Potion Master's quarters swung open revealing an translucent figure with a monkey-ish face. :: "**Here he isss, great Sssalazar, as you sssaid, I'll leave you now,**" :: with that the cobra turned and slithered away.

I looked at the ghost, who motioned me to follow him inside, and I did so. He closed the portrait and introduced himself. Accepting me as an heir, without suspicion or hostility as I expected. We sat and then he pointed to a cabinet, one that had been open when I had been here in Fifth year, but was now locked. With a wave of my hand, the door sprung open and inside, the Headmaster's pensive. Wordlessly I pulled it out. The water was silvery, and taped to the bottom a letter. I unattached it, read it and screwed my hands up in anger.

"_**Harry, or Potter,**_

_**Don't hate me, please. You need to understand, it's too late for me, but you have hope. View the memories, trust me when I tell you nothing is, as it seems.**_

_**Love, Uncle Sevvie**_

_**P.S. Never tell anyone what you used to call me!**_"

With a deep breath I plunged my face into the swirling water and was shocked. I knew I was a pawn, but I never knew I was **nothing but** a pawn. Dumbledore made Snape kill him, he knew about the Unbreakable Vow between Snape and Narcissa. Dumbledore wanted Snape to kill him, not Mal-Draco, so Voldemort would kill Draco. That's where all the Aurors were, not watching me, but off at Azkaban, trying to kill Lucius. To end that family, like Purebloods weren't scarce enough, bloody butt-fucking fool! Not that I'm sticking up for Lucius-Death-Eater-Scum-Malfoy, or anything.

xxx

Another memory and another, and I got angrier and angrier. Remus didn't hate me Dumbledore had threatened him. If he tried to talk to me without myself having approached him first, Dumbledore would have the last of my family declared a 'Dangerous Animal' and executed by the Ministry. Snape didn't hate me, he was pretending so Voldemort would never find out. Snape was like Moony, an honorary Uncle, whether my father and Sirius liked it or not, my mother had asked him. He loved me, but it was too late for him, he was right.

Again, I can't believe how glad I am he killed Bumblefuck. I keep sorting through the memories, not just Severus' and Remus', but others, Arthur, who tried to protect me and lost his job- I didn't know that -Ron who it turns out wasn't really my friend, and Hermione, their betrayal was shown to me though a memory of Blaise Zabini. Severus obviously asked. Their conversation haunted me sometimes, when I had nothing else to torture my dreams.

_**Hidden behind a knight, Blaise Zabini watched Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, two parts of the Golden Trio walk with Headmaster Dumbledore. **_

"_**I can't wait till he kills You-Know-Who, then we can throw him in Azkaban and be done with him."**_

_**Ron nodded his agreement, and kissed his girlfriend. "Oh yeah, that would be great. No more, Harry bloody Potter."**_

"_**Did Ginny give him the potion?" Ron nodded at the Headmaster.**_

"_**Thanks for that by the way, Sir, we do deserve something after everything we've done for him."**_

"_**Yeah, when he's convinced he's in love, Ginny will get him to sign everything over to her, and your family." Hermione smiled.**_

"_**Your family too, remember." Hermione smiled and looked at the ring on her finger. Slowly, ever so slowly, Blaise Zabini backed away and ran as fast as he could to Professor Snape**_.

I laughed sharply, of course my attraction to Ginny must have been magical, it was too weird, too sudden, and I am gay, after all. Salazar just sat and watched me, the entire time saying nothing, but then he moved. Pointing at the pensive, this was swirling with my head out of it.

"Go back in," he muttered and I did, pulling out in time to throw up on the floor. Banishing it with a wave, I mulled over the memory. Draco Malfoy was in love with me, he got a Dark Mark hoping he could spy on Voldemort and help Severus give information back, to keep his father and me safe. Severus had nowhere to go now, but Voldemort, even if he was Light. And Draco was dead; I fought the urge to heave again and closed my eyes.

"Fuck!" I cursed. I slam my hand on the table and try hard not to wreck the room like I did Dumbledore's office before, out of respect for Professor Snape. Nodding my thanks to Salazar I put away the pensive and walk mechanically towards the portrait.

"Salazar?" I ask, he nods his silent consent. "Is Lucius Malfoy still alive?" He nods again; I take a deep breath, "is he Dark or Light?"

The ghost smiles and opens the portrait for me, I walk out obviously having been dismissed, and as I turn down the corridor I hear a word trail after me. I smile, perfect. "Light."

xxx

I wrote a letter to Lucius, in the Room of Requirements, asking him to kill some people for me:

Ronald Weasley,

Hermione Granger,

Ginny Weasley,

The Dursley's,

And some Death Eaters that really aren't worth mentioning. I also ask him, very nicely, to get Arthur Weasley his job back, a higher position maybe if possible, and a good job for Remus Lupin, and to re-instate Professor Snape if he so wishes. And in return, I'd arrange for him to be freed from Azkaban and cleared of all charges, once again returned to his full glory.

I wrote and told him about Draco, everything about him, and Severus, and then I wrote my Will and sent that to him as well. I split everything between Severus, Remus, Arthur, the Weasley Twins, and surprisingly Blaise and Lucius. I gave Hedwig to Remus, because I knew he found it hard to keep in contact without an owl. It seemed I had belongings I didn't know I had so I asked that Mr Griphook, of Gringotts Wizarding Bank split everything accordingly.

And with that, and a P.S. note I sent Hedwig to Lord Malfoy, in Azkaban before writing a note to Minister Fudge and hand delivering it, along with a threat on his life. By the time Hedwig arrived at Azkaban, Lord Malfoy was stepping into the boat to take him away from the island. Hedwig stayed with him as he read, and re-read, and smiled his thanks to the bird and her owner.

xxx

I killed Voldemort a day later; it doesn't really matter how, because it's not what my story is about. My story is about betrayal, friends I thought I had, enemies that really weren't my enemies but family, people who loved me, my story is about revenge and I got it, Lucius killed them all. And about giving up, my story is about peace and rest… and happiness, things I've never really had, but I got them in the end.

Voldemort it seems really was allergic to 'love' as Dumbledore had said, I thought about my parents, Severus, Remus, Sirius… Draco… and catching him alone I jumped him. Immature I know, I know, but what? Should I ask him to hold still so I could hug him to death? Yeah didn't think you'd go for that. But it's what I did, I hugged him and he crumbled, just like Quirrel, but this time Voldemort couldn't escape the body.

Then I went to find Severus, I had gotten Fudge to clear him even going as far as to show him my memory of a memory involving Dumbledore bullying Severus into committing murder. When I found him, he was in a bad way. I kissed his forehead and held his hand, and I watched uncomprehending of how Voldemort could praise the man for doing what he never could, and then a month later use Severus as a toy. Severus had been beaten, tortured, and raped, starved and chained to Voldemort's bed. I of course unchained him and went to Grimmauld Place before comforting him.

I held his hand as he asked for forgiveness, I told him he didn't need it, because he never did anything to me I would need to forgive, but I told him I forgive him anyway.

"I love you… Uncle Sevvie," I added, glad to have done so when he smiled at me softly.

"Impertinent brat," he muttered and began to cough. I tried to sit him up and pat his back but he pushed my hand away. "Goodbye Harry, I love you too." I held his hand, and sat beside him as he died. One tear trailed down my pale, blood stained cheek as I got up and left him in his bed.

xxx

I then went to Malfoy Manor; sure Lucius would be home by now. He smiled at me as I was led into his study by another, better treated house-elf. Seems Dobby was an act as well, except the poor elf didn't know that. He smiled once more and poured me a generous helping of fire whiskey from the decanter on the bookshelf. He took a seat behind his desk and I sat in front of him, finishing my drink in one swallow, enjoying the burn of it down my throat.

He pushed the papers towards me. A piece of parchment on top, a written wizard's oath, I signed the parchment in my blood, not flinching as he sliced my hand with a knife, allowing my blood to drip into a phial. I signed and pushed the agreement back to Lucius.

"Will you beg me, Harry?" He asked no malice present in his words but no pity either. I just smile and stand up. And that's where we are now, the end of my story… the happily ever after I read about in fairytales. Not the usually ending of course, but good enough for me.

"Promise me," I say and Lucius nods and promises to do what I ask of him. He killed them, I watched from my new home, surrounded by family, as my enemies got what they deserved. I nod in thanks and walk to the garden, the sun is rising now, I've been busy most of the night it seems. I watch as reds and oranges bled together before turning to face Lucius.

"Please…" I beg and he smiled in approval. He raised his wand to me then and whispers two words I've been hearing all my life, I fell to the floor surrounded by green and step out of my body. I watch myself lie there and I see a tear make it's way down Lucius' cheek as he bend to pick my dead corpse off the ground and bring it inside the Manor.

xxx

I turn and walk away from the site; he brought the P.S. note out with him, I guess in case I changed my mind… "P.S. I want it to end, I ask one more thing. Kill me, in the quickest most painless way possible. You know what I mean, don't worry you won't get in trouble. Oh, and don't give in too easily" …I smile; he made me beg for something, no one ever did. It was an outright no or a quick yes.

I look in front of me and grin; not shocked to see my mother, father and Sirius waving me over to them. To see Severus smiling at me in a way I can barely remember from my first year of life. And to feel Draco Malfoy jump into my arms grinning and pressing kisses to my face whispering he loved me. I don't push him away, it feels too good.

I take one look behind me; Lucius is standing in the doorway. I know I'm not a ghost and he can't see me, us, but I think he knows we are here. I wave at him just in case, and kissed Draco full on the mouth, before pulling away from him to hug my family. I smile at the two elderly people who arrived late, my grandparents, and hug them too.

Together we walked away, up invisible stairs to my, our, new home. And occasionally I pulled back the curtain separating myself from my old life, and take a peek at reality. I watched Lucius kill them, I watched him show Arthur and Remus and Blaise the notes and Will, striking Severus' name from it. And sometimes I, not just a peek, but I visit. For mere moments: I know it's not usually possible, but hey I am Harry Bloody Potter. I am the epithet of impossible. I smile at Remus and Tonk's wedding, and in one picture there's a faint silver blur with his hand on the grooms shoulder.

I smile as Lucius adopts Blaise, his own parents having been killed along with Draco. I smile at the birth of the newest Weasley; how Molly manages at her age I'll never know. And again, a picture of the baby Harry Severus Weasley surrounded by silver mist as I carefully picked the child up. I still don't know who took the picture.

And on the anniversary of my death I smiled at the small gathering of people, family, stood over my grave. I was buried at Hogwarts in the end. Out by the lake, a muggle Willow tree planted over me, protecting me. And again, a silver blur was present in most of the photos. I think they finally stopped trying to explain me away!

I smiled once more, assured that my living family were happy, I walked away back up those invisible stairs and let myself rest.

"And I unlived happily ever after…" and then my dead boyfriend hit me with a cloud because I said 'I' not 'we'.

**The End**


End file.
